So, what did you think of my poem? I got two very complementary comments on it, but I would love to know if you didn't like it as well. Are there any parts that need work or were unclear, and what parts were your favorites?
I tried a new chiropracter today. I think I like this one, he seemed very friendly and professional. I think he knows what he's doing and he says I will feel better within a month, which is good news. I'm getting tired of hobbling around.
So today I saw the chiropracter and then just rested. I did a tiny amount of homework, and I took a really wonderful nap on the couch. Tonight was my sister's birthday dinner, and I woke up from my nap just in time to get cleaned up and eat homemade lasagna.
Hmmm... That is all I can think of to post at this moment. I will try to be more interesting tomorrow. : )
~Jane~
Saturday, September 11, 2010
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2 comments:
I came across your blog via "From the Desk of a Young Writer". I must say I love the rhyme and rhythm of your poem! (There's something so "stately" about a rhyming poem.) I could feel the thunder as I read :) And if you wanted to improve it, I'd suggest perhaps substituting "gently" for a work that rhymed better with "lightly", but those are just my thoughts and it really is great as it is :)
Blessings,
Annie
Thanks Annie, that is a ctually a very helpful comment! Now I am trying to think of a word that works as well as "gently" but with a better rhyme. : )
~Jane~
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