Student: "My brain is just so full."
Teacher: "Huh. My brain stays fairly empty most days."
Student: "So, who is considered the father of mathematics?"
"Square root of smiley face times square root of smiley face equals smiley face."
"That's all we have time for today. If you'd like more practice, you can come see me..." *awkward pause* "...never. This is the last day of class."
"You can remember quadratic formula by singing it to the tune of Pop Goes the Weasel." *starts singing* "Negative B plus or minus the square root of B squared, minus four times A times C, aaalll over two A."